Potty Training Tips!!!
(Written on: 21st June, 2010)
QUESTION: Assalaamu Alaikum. How are you sis’? Could you tell me how I can start potty training my 18 month old boy? Meaning like, tips, advices, introduction etc…How did you do it? [‘It’s Potty Time!” (Tuesday 15th June, 2010 2:18 PM)]
Wa Alaikumu Salaam,
Well, with regards to potty training there are two very effective methods I can recommend. The method you choose will all depend on your patience level, financial situation and whether you are working mom or a stay-at-home mummy. These are “Quick & Messy” or “Slow & Gradual”. Unfortunately, the “Quick & Messy” method has proven to be the most effective potty training method by most parents. But again, it all depends on you Inshaa Allah and what you think you will be able to handle.
-Become acquainted with your child’s facial expressions when he wants to pass urine or stool. This will be an easy indicator of when to rush them to the potty.
-You need to decide whether you would like to use a Toilet Seat(which rests directly on the toilet or a Floor Potty( The little ones you can buy, with the hole, that rests on the floor)
-You need to decide whether you will be purchasing jockeys or pull-ups (disposable pampers that work like jockeys). This would, however, depend on which of the two methods you choose.
-Your child will need free access to the bathroom, because in the beginning stages, he may not be able to wait for you to open the door for him to use the toilet. Thus, to avoid unnecessary accidents, leave the bathroom door open OR have an alternative latch that is easy and low enough for him to open whenever he wants. If you have a bidet, be sure to turn to knob in the direction that prevents the “Upward Spray”; to avoid any ‘baby-induced’ bathroom flooding:p
-Get or make a stepping stool for the sink, so that your child will learn proper hygiene practices after using the toilet/potty from a very young age.
-When potty training, it is important to consider the other people you may be living with and general sanitation. Thus if your child will only be wearing jockeys during their training, be sure to let them sit on top of either a Washable Lap-pad, a Disposable Changing Pad, or a folded towel when sitting on Sofas, people’s beds, etc…
– When introducing your child to the potty seat, be sure not to force them if they seem frustrated. Only seat them a few minutes at a time at first.
– Let your child become acquainted with the potty. Let them play with it, sit and slide around, etc…
– Try not to get overly frustrated when your child has little ‘accidents and messes’ in their jockeys/pull-ups; children pick-up very easily on your moods and expressions. Do not punish them for ‘accidents’ while potty training as this will just bruise their self-confidence and make them afraid to try again. Just give them constant positive reminders and reassure them that they can do it. Never allow your little once to feel as if they are disappointing you during this time. Praise them excitedly if they tell you they are ready to ‘pee pee’ even if they don’t make it to the potty in time. This will encourage them to keep trying.
– Hang or rest a few blocks on toilet paper next to the potty. Teach him (when he figures everything out) to wipe before he stands up. For Muslims, the proper way to clean yourself is to wash, but at this age, that will obviously be mummy’s job. The purpose of the toilet paper is to prevent excessive urine stains on his underwear when he runs off to use the potty on his own. It will also give him a drier and more comfortable feeling. You can teach him the washing when he is a little older..
– When your child has become potty trained, you can keep a bottle in the car for boys and a potty in the car for girls for passing urine. These can be used if you can’t rush them to a toilet in time. Also, purchase some disposable toilet seat covers to use for public toilets if you can.
(1) QUICK & MESSY – This is the method that may frustrate you easily if you don’t have the patience to keep up with it. But as I said, it really is the most effective when done correctly Inshaa Allah. So here’s how it goes essentially:-
– Put the kid in a jockey/briefs straight away. Just pick a day to start and just start.
– Wherever you put him to sit; to colour or play or whatever else, just fold and place a towel (or something absorbent in nature) under him. Tell him it’s a nice soft special seat so he won’t pull it out from under him. Something colourful if he’s very picky…(But have your disinfect & Anti-Bacterial Wipes handy because kids never stay in one place for very long)
– He WILL ‘have an accident’ the first time as this would be his very first time out of pampers, so expect it inshaa Allah!
– Observe him and as soon as it happens and he has that “what just happened????” look on his face, point quickly to his jockey and say “OOOH OOOH BABY! PeePee!!!” and carry him quickly to sit on the potty with the wet jockey on (you can wash and sanitize baby & potty after this).
– Let him sit for a few seconds to try and understand what you are trying to tell him. Gesture, point and speak, “Pee-Pee in the Potty…ooookay baby??? Pee-pee in the toilet/potty…” Be as pleasant, reassuring and comforting as you can in the way you speak.
– Now after the few seconds you ask him “Done Baby?? Baby Done??” Let him decide when it’s time to get up. Take him off, clean him up and put on a new jockey.
– It will of course happen again and he WILL have another accident. When it DOES happen, you simply go through the whole procedure again just as you did before. Use the same words and gestures and have the ‘cleaned’ potty somewhere very close to him at all times.
– After a few times of this happening he will start to realise that every time he gets that feeling to pass urine, he’s going to associate it with the potty. Put him on the Potty every 15 minutes and remind him to “Pee Pee in the potty” for the first two days…He may end up sitting on the potty to “pee-pee” with his jockeys on the first few times he gets there on time and this is a huge milestone so get ‘CRAZY EXCITED’ when he does and make him feel like he just won the Olympics when makes that very important accomplishment!
– The “passing stool” is easier to detect for a parent due to baby’s facial expression when he feels that need. So you just have to rush him to the potty at that time. This will work itself out once he learns to go to the potty himself to pass urine.
– It’s smooth sailing after that….you may have a few accidents every now and then, but what matters is that now he knows what he needs to do, it’s just a matter of getting there on time.
– When he is 100% comfortable with using the potty, you can start moving on to the toilet when he gains control of his bowels.
– After that, you can start the ‘night-time’ training: This would require you to send him to the toilet just before sleep-time, do not give him too many fluids just before bedtime. Wake him up at about 12:00 midnight or half way through the night and carry him to sit on the toilet to ‘pee-pee’, then put him back in bed to sleep. You won’t have to do the ‘waking up’ part for very long…this is simply to prevent initial bed-wetting and to teach him to wake up on his own if he does indeed feel the need to pass urine during the night.
(2) SLOW & GRADUAL –
– Buy some disposable “pull-ups” pampers (the kind that can pull down easily like a jokey/briefs).
– Put them on for him during the day and seat him on the potty every fifteen minutes or so. Gesture, point and speak, “Pee-Pee in the Potty…ooookay baby??? Pee-pee in the toilet/pottyJ” Be as pleasant, reassuring and comforting as you can in the way you speak.
– This is what you continue doing essentially until he gains control of his bowel movements.
– This method usually takes a lot longer than ‘Quick & Messy’ because baby is not sure what ‘Having an accident’ feels like… So the ‘pull-ups’ may actually hinder his desire to ‘keep things clean’ by running to the potty in time.
– Although I do believe there are a new kind of ‘pull-ups’ selling now, that allows baby to feel that feeling of wetness, to help parents through that potty training transition. It helps to signal the baby and make him aware instantly that he has just passed urine. But these of course will be very much more expensive and it’s up to you as the parent to decide whether this is affordable for you or not.
– Fortunately for some parents, they were able to get the toddler to pass urine in the potty after only a few attempts and once this happens and you show them how excited you are, it’s an instant motivation for them to keep trying. So all is not lost with the “Slow & Gradual” as it all depends on baby and what he’s comfortable with Inshaa Allah.
Hope this was Helpful Inshaa Allah!!!
“May Allah(swt) grant us all the stamina we need as parents.. Ameen…“